Impatience

One thing mindfulness has shown me is that I can be impatient (*wincing and backing away*). Actually, I have been told by many people that one of my best qualities is my enthusiasm. But I have also been told that I can rush things. There's a fine line and I often push it!

Looking back, I realise impatience often sabotaged my pain management efforts. I was chasing a quick fix and my goal was always "no pain". I was often told to try this technique, this exercise and when I did (once or twice) and the pain persisted, I got impatient and gave up. It took me a very long time to realise this impatient approach and these unrealistic goals, were not serving me. 

Last year, I wrote the first draft of the novel I have always wanted to write! Yay! Now all I can think about is the next level. Editing, polishing, more writing, writing courses, pitching, and the big one... getting it published. I can waste hours imagining and fantasising about what that would be like, to see my book on a bookshelf. I am impatient to get there but need to focus on the small steps of progress. 

Even writing this, I realise I am impatient. I have taken a break from blogging for the past month or so. Towards the end of last year, I was doing some consistent weeks of Wednesday blogging. It is what I have always aimed for because I know blogs require consistency dedication but most of all…persistence. I am struggling to get back into this routine and I feel annoyed at myself and I am wishing things to be other than they are. There is a tightness in my chest, a slightly sour taste in my mouth.  I float off to where I want to be. And forget where I am. I'm impatient to get to that far off place. Now. Without the effort or the challenges. Buddhists sometimes call this attachment or craving and believe it to be one of the causes of suffering. 

 

This is normally the part in the blogpost where I say this is what to do to magically address the problem. But this time, I don’t really know. I have only recently become aware that I am feeling impatient – and, for now, that’s enough of a step for me. I can just notice without judgement. I can also acknowledge that sometimes, being impatient is understandable, human nature really. We all want it now, bigger, larger, brighter. 

 

Another thing that can help is to begin or expand on a gratitude practice. Rather than getting in an impatient flap focusing on where I want to be, I can just look around and appreciate where I am. Looking for the little things, the progress already made, the family, friends, experiences. 

A good friend of mine and I often randomly share gratitude photos. Our dogs, our homes, our cooking exploits! Just that little moment can be enough to bring it back into the present moment experience. 

Lastly, one thing I have turned towards, especially last year when lockdowns forced us all to be more patient, was to do an activity that deliberately requires patience. Sourdough. Can't beat it! Can't rush it! But has to be eaten and savoured - yum!

 

So, if you have some ideas, please feel free to share. How do you deal with impatience?