Questioning

Here's a mindful practice I have been turning to a bit lately. Questioning myself. How? Good question! - I will give you some examples. 

In my last blogpost, I mentioned I have been thinking about posture and pain and muscle tension - a lot! So whenever I can remember, I have been just pausing and asking myself a few questions to help focus on this. Am I comfortable right now? Am I relaxed? Am I bracing or tensing? If yes, do I need to be?

Just by asking myself it flips my attention to my body and I can scan the area and decide if I need to make a change. Without the questions, there is no pause, no scanning and no change. I can be at the computer, braced and tense for minutes and hours. I can be standing in the kitchen preparing dinner, with shoulders around my ears, ramrod straight and in pain. The questions brings the awareness.

Am I over-reacting? This question usually sparks a slump of regret or shame because often the answer is yes. Mainly it's small inconsequential fights with the kids. I have gotten cross about something - not cleaning their rooms, too much screen time or a smart comment (usually something I would say parroted back to me - how annoying!). By questioning, sometimes, I discover my reaction is not in proportion to the action. Getting fired up usually just results in them getting fired up back to me. Then we have two grumpy people and no resolution. This practice helps bring mindfulness to my parenting (and, as my autocorrect pointed out, my partnering!).

Am I okay? Well, maybe I don't ask this question exactly but a mindful check in on my self talk and inner world can reveal some very useful reflections. Non judgemental curiosity might help me realise that I am being very harsh on myself. Another useful question in this self analysis - Would I say this to a friend or loved one? This helps when I am beating myself up about something or ruminating. Like in the mornings when I lie in bed and call myself a lazy slug. To a friend I might just say, 'come on, up you get, you can do this'. So the question prompts a helpful response. A mindful response. I am reading Sarah Wilson's new book This One Wild and Precious Life at the moment and she talks about asking beautiful questions and one of the great ones is how does my heart feel in this moment?

So, ask yourself some questions and get interested in the answer. And if the answer really upsets you...go and watch some episodes of Bluey!