React or Respond

One of the many things I continue to find challenging is my quickness to react. Something will happen and before I have even had the chance to be mindful, a sharp word, a poor choice, a muttering or grumble will blast out of me. It’s fast and it is without thought. The thinking comes afterwards and usually it is tinged with regret or guilt or shame.

I am hoping to write these blogs with this in mind. My plan is to reflect on my week and think of the times I was able to bring mindfulness into my daily life, and the times I did not. I will structure my blogs with a reaction (the not so mindful moments) and a response (the present moment actions, without judgement).

React – I had a look at definitions and a reaction is action based and in opposition against some force. For me this means, I don’t like what is happening, I want it some other way so I will push it, yell at it, ignore it – all of these result in a very rapid flight or fight. It’s the limbic system that has taken over and attempted to save me from a perceived threat. The choice and action were quick and without consideration or critical thinking. And the more I react, often the more I react…it’s a cycle of stress and it can be hard to break. I liked this short video about the fight/fight response. 

Respond – On the other hand, a response has some separation from the activity. The word return features in this definition and this suggests it does not need to be immediate. I like to think of a return letter (snail mail). You take in the situation, contemplate, and then send your answer. There is a pause and reply.

Viktor E. Frankl, Holocaust survivor and author of the best-selling book Man's Search for Meaning was quoted as saying 

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

As I continue to practice, reflect and build mindfulness into my daily life, I hope I can access that space more often.