Reacting, irritated, annoyed
Uncertainty suffocates
No control except my response.
So I,
Apologise for my mistakes,
Ditch the guilt,
Get outside,
Gain perspective from trusted friends,
Choose how I fuel the fire -
It burns on regardless
The mindfulness in daily life blog
37 words
React or Respond
One of the many things I continue to find challenging is my quickness to react. Something will happen and before I have even had the chance to be mindful, a sharp word, a poor choice, a muttering or grumble will blast out of me. It’s fast and it is without thought. The thinking comes afterwards and usually it is tinged with regret or guilt or shame.
I am hoping to write these blogs with this in mind. My plan
is to reflect on my week and think of the times I was able to bring mindfulness
into my daily life, and the times I did not. I will structure my blogs with a
reaction (the not so mindful moments) and a response (the present moment
actions, without judgement).
React – I had a look at definitions and a reaction is action based and in opposition against some force. For me this means, I don’t like what is happening, I want it some other way so I will push it, yell at it, ignore it – all of these result in a very rapid flight or fight. It’s the limbic system that has taken over and attempted to save me from a perceived threat. The choice and action were quick and without consideration or critical thinking. And the more I react, often the more I react…it’s a cycle of stress and it can be hard to break. I liked this short video about the fight/fight response.
Respond – On the other hand, a response has some separation from the activity. The word return features in this definition and this suggests it does not need to be immediate. I like to think of a return letter (snail mail). You take in the situation, contemplate, and then send your answer. There is a pause and reply.
Viktor E. Frankl, Holocaust survivor and author of the best-selling book Man's Search for Meaning was quoted as saying
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
As I continue to practice, reflect and build mindfulness
into my daily life, I hope I can access that space more often.
Start Again
I am starting with a little introduction to me (hello to you and nice to meet you!) and an explanation of my new blog (this is it - you are reading it)!!
Who am I? Wow...I never realised how difficult it is to answer this question. There is some revelations for me right there. I am just going to write a little nonspecific list - will that do the job?
The point of this blog? I wanted a regular reminder of my mindfulness practice. I am hoping, by setting myself a weekly blog to write I will be on the lookout for my own mindful moments and I will pause and reflect on some of my successes and failures. In the past few years, I have figured out that mindfulness in daily life is critical for me. Yes, meditation helps too and I also regularly practice a formal meditation (often guided) but its the day to day moments that really have an impact, on my mood, my pain, my relationships and my general well being. These might be enjoying a moment in the sun, relishing a true connection from a snuggle on the couch with my family. It might be pausing before making choices, or taking a deep breath to help relax. These tiny moments is all it takes, and these all add up and help with feelings of overall calm. They also help in managing my pain. Many pain management specialists refer to pacing as a key aspect to self managing pain. Pacing for me is understanding the limits of activities and pain thresholds and being aware of not pushing beyond these. You only need to check out my previous blog to understand more about overdoing it and how this impacts on pain flare ups. But mindfulness in daily life helps me to know where I am at, what choices to make next and to understand and undertake my pacing regime.
Why did I name my first post "Start Again"? Well it is the start of my second blog so I am kind of starting again! But seriously, my biggest learning on my mindfulness journey has been finding joy in my constant need to start again. Like I said, I am practicing. I do it many times a day. Saying to myself "Ok, just start again" gives me the permission to remove any (self-imposed) judgement and begin or re-start a task. Sometimes I have gotten distracted, sometimes I have gotten overwhelmed, sometimes I have disappeared into my own swirling thought patterns or operated on automatic pilot, sometimes I have given in to believing thoughts are facts, sometimes I have reacted instead of responded, sometimes I simply have just made a massive mess (again!). I stop, I pause, I take a breath and I start again.
Here is an example - Recently I was out on a walk. I was feeling really frustrated and my mind was racing. I am starting this blog in a very weird new reality where we are all trying to live with the global CO-VID19 pandemic. Things have been pretty stressful. My walk was intended to clear my head but as I power walked, I was feeling overwhelmed and battling with a range of emotions. I saw a small native eucalypt bush and it was covered in pink flowers. But I kept walking. A few steps later I stopped and I decided to start again. I walked back to this bush. I stood there and looked and admired and wondered. I saw bees buzzing around and the vibrant, beautiful pink colour of the flowers. I stood for a few moments and simply observed. I took a quick snap on my phone to show the kids when I got back (they were impressed!) and I continued on my walk. That mass of thoughts and emotions that were previously buzzing like those bees, they calmed a little and for the rest of the walk I just put one foot in front of the other and tried to look around me. I wonder though, how many times do I walk and not notice nature's beauty that is all around me?
Please join me, it may not be perfect, it will be just be me sharing my observations over how mindfulness works (and does not work) for me. I do hope some things may resonate with you and bring some insights, some laughs and some opportunities.
Join me on Facebook here.
Who am I? Wow...I never realised how difficult it is to answer this question. There is some revelations for me right there. I am just going to write a little nonspecific list - will that do the job?
- Mother and Wife - I put this first because these are the jobs I do for love, with love and am loved.
- Writer - A new role, hobby, creative outlet.
- Scoliosis warrior self managing chronic pain - its a big part of my daily life and who I am, what I can do and some of my limitations.
- Gardener - well, some would argue this one - I have the enthusiasm but rarely the persistence, patience or success.
- Messmaker - ok, so maybe I am not proud of it but I am just outting it out there - I am full of ideas, I will power into them but I often run out of stream when I get to the clean up phase.
- Mindfulness practitioner - I consider myself very much a beginner but I am practicing, every day, always learning, growing and hopefully improving.
The point of this blog? I wanted a regular reminder of my mindfulness practice. I am hoping, by setting myself a weekly blog to write I will be on the lookout for my own mindful moments and I will pause and reflect on some of my successes and failures. In the past few years, I have figured out that mindfulness in daily life is critical for me. Yes, meditation helps too and I also regularly practice a formal meditation (often guided) but its the day to day moments that really have an impact, on my mood, my pain, my relationships and my general well being. These might be enjoying a moment in the sun, relishing a true connection from a snuggle on the couch with my family. It might be pausing before making choices, or taking a deep breath to help relax. These tiny moments is all it takes, and these all add up and help with feelings of overall calm. They also help in managing my pain. Many pain management specialists refer to pacing as a key aspect to self managing pain. Pacing for me is understanding the limits of activities and pain thresholds and being aware of not pushing beyond these. You only need to check out my previous blog to understand more about overdoing it and how this impacts on pain flare ups. But mindfulness in daily life helps me to know where I am at, what choices to make next and to understand and undertake my pacing regime.Why did I name my first post "Start Again"? Well it is the start of my second blog so I am kind of starting again! But seriously, my biggest learning on my mindfulness journey has been finding joy in my constant need to start again. Like I said, I am practicing. I do it many times a day. Saying to myself "Ok, just start again" gives me the permission to remove any (self-imposed) judgement and begin or re-start a task. Sometimes I have gotten distracted, sometimes I have gotten overwhelmed, sometimes I have disappeared into my own swirling thought patterns or operated on automatic pilot, sometimes I have given in to believing thoughts are facts, sometimes I have reacted instead of responded, sometimes I simply have just made a massive mess (again!). I stop, I pause, I take a breath and I start again.
Here is an example - Recently I was out on a walk. I was feeling really frustrated and my mind was racing. I am starting this blog in a very weird new reality where we are all trying to live with the global CO-VID19 pandemic. Things have been pretty stressful. My walk was intended to clear my head but as I power walked, I was feeling overwhelmed and battling with a range of emotions. I saw a small native eucalypt bush and it was covered in pink flowers. But I kept walking. A few steps later I stopped and I decided to start again. I walked back to this bush. I stood there and looked and admired and wondered. I saw bees buzzing around and the vibrant, beautiful pink colour of the flowers. I stood for a few moments and simply observed. I took a quick snap on my phone to show the kids when I got back (they were impressed!) and I continued on my walk. That mass of thoughts and emotions that were previously buzzing like those bees, they calmed a little and for the rest of the walk I just put one foot in front of the other and tried to look around me. I wonder though, how many times do I walk and not notice nature's beauty that is all around me?Please join me, it may not be perfect, it will be just be me sharing my observations over how mindfulness works (and does not work) for me. I do hope some things may resonate with you and bring some insights, some laughs and some opportunities.
Join me on Facebook here.
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