It is raining at Saddle Club

The rain on the roof has a rhythm but just when I think I have nailed the pattern of sounds, there’s a change. A conglomerate of drips.

The downpipe is overflowing and slapping great gushes onto the wooden table. 

 

The frogs have started up their chorus as if signalling to prospective mates rain's aphrodisiac effect.

 

The laden clouds have lowered and covered the distant blue grey smudged hills. 

 

Activity flurries as riders and horses move towards cover. 

There are no individual drops just a sheen of downward movement tricking my eyes. 

 

Leaves bob merrily as raindrops use them as a springboard. Drop and drip. 

 

Birdsong has ceased. They have sought refuge and hidden from view. 

 

Horses ears are perked to attention but flickering and twitch with each droplet. 

 

Puddles ripple with the raindrops and each pool is like its own mini disco, lights flashing. 

 

In the puddles, I see the sky and trees reflected, an upside-down wet world. 

 

The air is crisp but not cold, so I sit in peaceful awareness, a smile dancing on my lips.

The person in the Mirror

 A quote that real hit me in the feels was this:

 

If you are looking for that one person to change your life, look in the mirror. 

 

For so long I was desperately seeking a cure, a magic pill, someone (anyone!?) to take away my pain. I never realised there was so much that I could do that would impact my experience of pain. Often we search outside of ourselves for help, redemption, reassurance, satisfaction. We actually have much more control over these things than we realise – if only we choose to seek it and believe it. 

 

Mindfulness has helped me realise this. And it comes from the “without judgement” part of being aware of my present moment experiences. In doing so I can be aware of the things within my control and those that are influenced by or forced upon me by others. Even just the ability to identify my thoughts and not allow them to carry me off into dark places. 

Yet, sometimes having all the control can also be challenging. There are times when I feel tired, overwhelmed and convinced I cannot do it. I notice these thoughts. And I will look back at that face in the mirror and tell myself. Just do the next right thing. 

 

Recently my son was talking with his peers at school about social injustice. Apparently, the whole class was fired up about a number of problems they saw in our world. I am grateful to hear that their teacher had directed the conversation towards solutions. He had asked me that night what can one person do to make a difference. He felt numbed into inaction by the feeling of overwhelm at the enormity of the problems they had discussed. We talked at length about how one person can make a difference. I used myself as an example, by choosing to self manage my pain I was able make massive changes in my daily life. I was able to return to work, to re-connect with friends and family, to pick myself up and starting living fully once again. I use this story and my experiences to share with others hoping that somewhere, someone might read some of my reflections and make their own changes. 

 

Another example I told him about was my Dad. At age 80 and somewhat sparked by recent lockdowns, he has gotten into Facebook. He has been sharing some tunes he has made online. He has compiled them into a CD and is sending it to people, asking them to pass on the favour by either doing a random act of kindness or contributing to their local charity. This is one person, doing something and making a difference. Paying it forward.

 

One person, making a commitment to themselves, to act, to make a change. It is possible. 

 

I have experienced this first hand, big changes in our life come when we start with the person in the mirror. Be kind to that person because they are always there. As Jon Kabat-Zinn says “wherever you go, there you are". There’s no hiding from that person. So why not be their friend, their ally, their cheerleader.